Saturday, January 20, 2024

Alone again this. feeling, how long will it last, why am I feeling so very lonely, no male friends?

 Follow up follow down, fall down fall for, get up, go on, in love be, fall all








This question quest quiet queer quandary queen

I am strong, that is not in question as I carve my

Path and self from the mold I have become in part

Because of Society and myself , both are highly

Recommending two starkly different paths,

One a sure road to a very silent lonely fake 

Death and the other one an alone series of steps

That feed all of me to the strongest plateau I

Have ever scaled that is more mental, spiritual

Less physical, one that I achieve by my own

Wits not witstanding or withstanding but with

Standing by my side as I navigate, am navigated

By the pull of stars and moon and sun and all

That is real, really happening on this earth and

World of sea and sky, cave and mountain, river

Stream, pond,  rook, meadow, plain,  now city

And town and so much more

I sit naked nakedly doggedly death-defyingly 

Challenging, questioning, welcoming, now

Knowingly so much more knowing I know

Very little in reality except more what is really

Real and not fake or less fake and more so

Solid in my way, ways, too, new of thinking

And confronting,ndealing, molding yet not

Never really totally sealing in or up or more

And so much for me and us our world lies

In store, indoors, outdoors, on seas on plateaux

On floors, through doors, so much more than

Just some awe in awesome to absorb as much

As possible as the train to Clarksville stops 

Quickly at each stop as it has miles of tracks 

To cover and I / we have aisles of wits and

Wiles to roam romance, conquer and prance


I am like Hansel in Hansel and Gretel two

Child explorers, yes, a bit, too like Gretel

Am I !?! Yes, both, I throw crumbs down,

Many , so darned many, I want you all in

Nature to come feast from these bountiful

Crumbs I spread down with the delusion

Fantasy, dream that they will somehow lead

Us back to where we once belonged, and yet

I know deep down inside they will momentarily 

Feed others and give them some reason to

Acknowledge me in some way or another, but

They, too are on their paths and quests, missions

Happy to do for themselves some, some of the time

Or be told in no uncertain CERTAIN words and gestures

What they want you to do for them NOW, no choice

For you anymore, you have and are being barely fed

And housed, clothed and for cared, you are walking

Numb numb in an ugly stupid wasteful state of dead

I am, however, with Gretel, we walk together but

Live different lives, we are there to comfort one

Another, be there for one another, I have mostly

Remained my child inner workings of my true

Self’s acceptance and appreciation and approach

To life, the staying young at heart, hopeful, and

Gleeful and glad and grand and great and grinning 

Groaning going forth, for, forever young in me

In you in us in ours , theirs, our collective youths!

Those crumbs I scattered have kept me on my paths

To find out, I thought once they made me true lasting 

Friends, now I know this is sooo not true, they have

Brought me virgin and wide-eyed excitement and

Views into this amazing mazing mighty morphing 

World that never fail to feed me more to digest, see,

Feel, reel, wonder and definitely wander aimMORE

ThanLESSly! And so I do, so I am, so I be, alone,

With my loving lovely Gretel by my side that stands








By me, sometimes i wonder why, but she does, we

Do, we are here together partners in life and doing

Or very best to navigate these paths and wonder where 

Our next enriching crumbs will come from, where

They may strewn by Nature in our ways to nourish us!?

This is by no means finished so be prepared if possible 

For more!

I sit here stark naked on our living room couch in pitch




Black , cold and warm at the same time, i feel so alive!

At 6:37am Saturday morning,  snow outside, toasty

Inside, a blue and white eye patch to protect my 

Healing left eye, head straight down to encourage

It to heal and seal that hole in my retina’s wall,




I must not delay, I must play, prance, dance, roam




Romance, for I am certainly not dead, I am very much 

Still eagerly beaverly, aahhh living likingly lovingly

Soooooo darn deliciously deliriously definitely ALIVE

This ride ain’t over babe, here, take my hand, ON we GO!












The light will soon fill displace erase this dark 







No comments: