Life in my lane, my very own lane, I think we each get our own lane, at least at birth, at 70 I know I am still very much in my own lan

Proud to be in my own lane as it is no small feat

My feet have kept me there, too, mostly yes neat

I have worked hard to keep it my own, marching

At my own beat, sometimes with sweat on my

Skin, sometimes getting tired from the great effort

To keep me there and not swim over into someone

Else’s lane, I was okay at swimming, done it most

Of my life, pretty cool was I at Fort Myer  with

Althea and others, mostly girls my age, we’d listen

To 45 RPM’s on our plastic record players on the

Grass by the sides of the great 50 meter pool out-

Side , I remember hearing “ Red Rubber Ball “

Sung by the Cyrkle ( written by Paul Simon I

Learned much later ), that was gosh darned kool!

I had my circle of friends, admired swimmer

Hessima from a distance, he was both in his

Own lane as well as in a faster swimming league!

Those morning practice sessions gave me fatigue

Yet as youthful then I rebounded rather quickly

Kept my thin lanky hair growing longer physique 

And , on some level must surely captured the 

Eyes of some of the girls, though which ones

Then I am not sure our flirtations were much

More than just that, childish crushes that were

Occurring with us yet quite not sure of what to

Do with them, in our own lanes still, not yet

Crossing over as our signals were erratic and

Sudden and strong, none of us yet in the wrong

Hearts beating quick glances, not yet romances

I am sure that in my lane my free style strokes

Were quite measured, quite arm-stretches long

Cutting and sliding quick into those heavily 

Chlorinated pool baby blue sky-colored waters

The sun out often, I remember that well, also

Remember that Katy Bean Bag as I called 

Her with great affection was not there, but I

Managed anyway though she was my breath

Of the freshest, brightest, most intense gulps

Of air, so beautiful, so much ,ore accomplished

In so many more things than I, and yet we were

Close friends , somehow,  I fitting in around

Lisa and Althea, Eric and Robby, Kirk and 

Margaret, Gayle and Fred Grabowsky and 

more!

We each were in our own lanes, I learned

Some about this much later through Crystal

As she came to the wine store years later to

Buy her wins, mostly sparkling from me, 

She shared then how all the girls liked me

Because they could actually have a conver-

Sation with me that was neither weird or

Strange. Thank you Crystal for sharing this

With me, I appreciate knowing this as then

None of the girls ever shared this with me

Even though on some level my lane could

Be welcome next to any of their lanes then.

These memories growing up seem to stick

Deeply in our subconscious of all of us,

Whether the bus we are on is in one lane

Or another, as long as while it is driving

It does not cross over into a lane coming

Toward us, we we’re safe, except from

Each other, as we were know to be some-

Times quite mean to one another. I took

Pride in doing always my best to be both

Considerate and kind to other’s feelings

And aware of their state of minds so

Fragile, so full of leaping and dashing

And prancing and preening, careening

Hormones those unmistakable contrary

Estrogen lanes and those hooting and how-

Ling testosterone lanes, too, put them close

Together in boy-girl-boy-girl-boy-boy-girl-

Girl lanes and watch yourselves for our

Exploding very human fireworks that so

Combustible, so ready to go off in any dire

Not always safe directions, hit one another

And stop us often so wounded in our lanes!

Happily married we will soon be just more than a week

43 years and still strong and still growing, each in our

Very own two lanes side by side much of our times!

Two children all mostly grown up now, these are very

Much though different times and our lanes get crossed

Bossed tossed , seldom time to just be mossed, so

Much more to sort through, too much meddling from

Start to finish, people trying to make over into theirs

Our lans that very much should always be our own!

Let us all of this be quite aware, ready to fight forever

To the bone, our rights to be on our own thrones,

Live always by our own ver unique rings & tones!

Take that you robbers you thief's you bad bad peops!

My very own pause o men o women o child o animal o plant o rock o earth o soil o tree o mountain o ocean o more is so strong always in all ways , stop me dead teeen my eyes for certain 4=sure!

 The unwind the decompress the letting go the relax

I am witness to it all as I seem to drop to pieces as

Peace fills my spaces my time my states my senses

And I try to access, to articulate , too ,before too late

As time flies and thoughts appear in bite-size morsels 

That are absorbed one way or another by me if I am 

And act quick enough to them jot down somewhere

Somehow to them later if possible return to pick them

Up where I them once did them begin to notice and absorb

Into myself to them hope to develop ,envelope, to eat, drink

Sniff, snort, hear , touch , feel strongly and often so faintly,

That is my and our lot,nwe do what we can , great stars ,mart

Start !

Looking at those rays of sun, feeling them, too n my shoulders!

A wonderful vantage point have we to front and back!

Warming to those rays brilliant sooooo of sun on Monday!

Feelings of mine sublime in the tears 70 of mine blessed beautiful Beau aussi!

Tony 1/29/2024 3:20pm now!

The Mondayn mondane Dane pain window and door eye ear butt panes of our daily day and night pins

 The lives so rich so full in their beginnings they

Sacrifices of so very many to others place before

Themselves so often as is the nature natural in so

Much sacrifice, artifyce, you have to say those two

So they rhyme and start a rhythmic prance of their

Preens that follow us all before and after our turbulent

Teens of One King with One Queen in high school and

The rest of us not worth the mention, not beautiful or

Handsome or Kool or Rad or Rich enough to let into 

Our few selective snob fake artificial expensive groups

We all just do not make The Cut and so are herded off to

Realms to never be seen or heard from again by the powerful 

Ones! 

So I rise up against such Tomfoolery and go on about my business

With my head held high,ma straight back, shoulders square fair!

Walk-in the woods just now, 43 degrees, sunny and windy, fat tire tracks on path , still wet and muddy and squishy! Beware! Step prudently!

 

All okay, very much so, the skies a tender baby blue

The beauty the Nature the child still much asleep in

Me, yet, the desire to be soaked in sun light the glory

The lightness without yet heavy of life surrounding 

Man and dog, the deer, the red foxes for sure nearby

Camouflaged so neatly in the colors dulled of the

Woods, those browns, a really rotting decomposing

Red trunk at edge of path, the fallen branches and

Other trees all around , so many in this woods, some

Vertical, some horizontal, diagonal, to, in states so

Many of a natural progression , cycles of death and

Life, as I breathed in very cool fresh damp air and looked 

All around us and felt so lucky to be at 70 experiencing

The wonders, wanders, romances of life all around, a

Scout, not a hunter, made now just aware of that episode

On the tv series Northern Exposure where Dr Joel Fleischman

Wanted Togo hunting to experience it, he went with Howling

And Chris  hunting for grouse, quite the experience, and

Here now ,safe at home, with a Greek yogurt in my belly, 

  ThinkingOf being off with my wife soon for our BLT’s

And happy and anticipating the bacon as I sit here sipping

My freshly brewed coffee , what a lucky husband, father,

Artist, nudist man feeling like 27 I am, starting fresh again!

Dry Riesling from California, some extra weight, like a couple layers of grape skin, skeletal as in tree trunk, yet bright, full presence , and more!

 

Night Kolbe two dark pink sunset brilliant colors in

The frying pan simmering in a garlic, lemon and

 pepper , olive oil and Dijon mustard broth I made

Right on the spot , dinner preparations jump-stars

Started after 2 episodes of Loudermilk, and before

That saturated in our tears over Fried  Green Tomatoes

As the mists of Sunday rain drops fall, have fallen, so

Permeate the grayness of afternoon today, cool and

Chilling to awaken later sleeping layers we all have

Stuffed insides ourselves, like taking someone out

Into the woods that is a drug addict and rushing off

In a car and leaving her on Loudermilk to fend for

Herself and ride like the wind in the back of a truck

With oinking , mulling pigs! So here taking a break,

A head of Greens in boiling water, wild rice perking

Up into a more substantive formation, a level plane

Of hot healthy rice to add to the mix of so many

Chopped fruits, pear and apple, spinach leaves on

Top with some celery heart shoots, too, the broccoli 

Is ready now, dinner is soon to be served, my second

Sip of Dry Riesling softer and rounder , a touch of

Mellow brightness without the fanfare or melancholy,

Lovely to sit dow to dinner before another episode or

Two of Succession where, in the 1st season I love the

Music that gets its inspiration from the 1700’s and

The present New Yory dysfunctional family, have some

More dry Riesling, take that load off and toss it to the 

Winds, let them deal and cure these matters of the ego/ greed!

I and our dog are ponderers in our wanderings each time we walk outside we lag behind for the most part analyzing the moods and the smells of Nature that surround us so!

Our dog is a companion to us both and to me 

He reminds me a whole lot of me and I see

And feel sometimes our similar bonds of be-

Ing very much the same , a coincidence I

Must suppose and very much one that I

Welcome!

I get the morning shift with our good that comes to sleep by my side as often

I get up to walk him, though blessed recently by surgery on my left eye retina

So no walking at all! The break has been appreciated, my wife picking up my

Slack, thank you for that, it has given me the time to heal and realize what is

Most important to me - you!

This morning walk we stopped going up

Our slight hill on Ventura, as we paused 

And I looked down I was greeted by

So many acorn heads or caps now missing

Their brown shiny seeds that are probably

Mostly eaten by now, dug up from around

Us ,earlier buried last fall- early winter

By so many squirrels and chipmunks for

Winter’s meals and nourishments. So

Many heads scattered on this pavement by 

The water from our melting snow.

I was amazed, taken back, wow, what a slick wet sight

To behold, with broken branches, too, what a haphazard

Scattering and temporary placement of these wet shiny

Or matted browns! It gave me pause to further reflect.

As I walk with our dog Nature feed me ideas in parts, bits, so 

Much for me to take in, but I am mostly them in my Tony state-of-

Mind  and absorbed in my and my dog’s thoughts, our tug and

Pulls, our awareness of each other but yet very much in our own 

worlds, his nose and keen sense of smell driving him, his aware sightings of peops and their dogs, his wanting to stay or rush over

And greet them, me pulling way back as that is very much my 

Natural temperament, BUT keenly knowing that anything can set

Our dog off and that he will snap and growl, and defend or take

That which he deems his, tricky moments that are better handled

By keeping our distance. So, so many of our walks are solitary.

I wish I could change that but I have to be vigilant and keep peace

And harmony in our neighborhood world , that is best, let him jump

And yank the lady as he strikes out at squirrels, crows, chipmunks,

Let that be our world as well as fallen branches with leaves that may

Have been where squirrels may have nested way up high in trees 

Above, and where now, our dog for certain in his thinking must pee!

 

My life of deletions and editing my editions and deciding quickly now what condition I would like these editions orvseriesvthatbtheybwill bebinntonsharensometine!

 

What condition is my condition in to edit to delete?

I am constantly here working fervently to almost 

Feverish on deciding of myself, my photos and

My posts and videos what to not delete just as of

Yet as I indulge my fingers and snap so many images

I feel drawn to snap and share as I see both  their

Beauty and their values, and sometimes as I snap so

Quickly they are so similar to one another yet so different 

Too, telling the shades of a story, really of split seconds,

Fractions in time, so  yes I learned my fractions in school,

Like Joni, I thought I knew them well, but as I gaze

Down upon them on my iPad I realize I am spell-wrung-

Spun by them with the finest yarns ( I love to spin my yarns,

But that is another subject,  another series of fractured

Thought ) that I do not know them at all, though I recognize

Them and remember them , as if yesterday or even today,

Familiar, fascinating , magical ,poetic, artistic ,wonderful,

I do not really know much about them except that they spark 

My instantaneous smile, they are me, mine, histories in so

Many thousands of moments, relived here, perhaps , the story

Not at all finished or complete, and so I struggle with the

quest and question : what to delete what to keep, what May

I now live with and without, from within to without? Down

The waterspout goes the black spider spinning his or her web!

D

The taste of a hot brew, the feel on the tongue, that strong firm saturation, the impact, gut warmer, the calm that follows, coffee freshly brewed

The feel the flesh , inner of that those small beans, I love it

I love beans, grew up as a child in Gavia, Rio de Janeiro 

Having contests with my friend Cidele eating feijoada and

Seeing who could eat the most! My mother supervised, or

Was itvMarianna that did the honors!? And from those

Black beans and Guarana a matured to their black coffee

Beans back in Arlington and before that, the first time in

Paris, aFrance with scalding bitter sharp curdling gut wrench

Express o that took the instantaneous express lane to my

Stomach then guts! That was a jolt and a half, if not more,

Funny, I must have erased that first time memory from my

Head as I have no recollection at all of it , just knowing

That it transpired there la bas en France dans les annees 

1970’s! They were great back way way than a Paris oui!

Comme ca m’aplu beaucoup pleasing me no end, vraiment 

Really, I loved those years in Paris, Francebwith my family

At first then alone with my future and only wife to be that

We will celebrate 43 years together in February with some

French champagne from Epernay, @ChampagneEsterlin 

But now today, Samedi Saturday my brew de cafe oui oui

Si si si oui , comme ca me plait en ce moment ici chez nous!

 

To be up, to be up, for what ever more, life, to embrace from last night’s embers, whether Decembers, Novembers, Septemtembers,neven Januaryembers! The body always remembers, is cheered

 

Just get up , rise up, get along on pure passions

To be , made, seen, heard, proud, loud, learned

To some stupid yet you knowing what’s right

Not only for you, but the world, others, mothers

You’re not an expert, you know enough to know

That,you know your strengths and your weaknesses

You know also how to ask for help and to work

With others, you understand all us better when we

Tribe our tribes and benefit for each others expertise 

In so many things we cannot even fathom! You are

Smart in naturally human and worldly ways, I respect

And admire that, proud to be your friend, work yes

Along side of you, we can and will accomplish much

Mucho MAs muy a whole lotta good amigo ami oui

Ensemble juntos con tigo avec toi, nous sommes fuertes!

The noise from the plane just now overhead and moving quicklime northwest into a quite drone to roar ans then , like a song, it flies into the soundless spaces in our hea

 Nice now, the rumble of a car engine, testing the gas, 

An automobile drone that stopped, then started, new

Plane’s noise above in our babu blue skies and perhaps

Disappears into those puffy whips above that brush our

Souls, fluff our spirits and toot our ears , another car

Rumba,dancing with the sleek grace,swift movements

Of another car,mtheyvare out, time to head home, to shop

For goods, to meet appointments, attend events, get to

Exercise as another rumble above of a third plane above,

We are under their paths above, their space , their state of

Being,mconduits to our destinations, temporal, fleeting,

Flights of our fancies, manners to connect to our loved

Ones, like Deb’s dad and his her sister coming from Hawaii!

A pile of cut, dried winter’s worth wild grass now sits heaped nicely by our bird bath, yay!

Cutting back, looking good

The wild grass is down now

In a hump by the bird bath

The sun’s out, 75 degrees

All swell, we are hot

The constant regular

Beene is so soothing yes

Loving it as the woodpecker

Pecks on either sides of us

First to the left, nor to the

Right

Feels so very surely right!

The baby blue skies managetpr move along the 

Puffy billowy small cloudsThe robins up in

The woods, there’s a bunch of them my

Wife points up to them. I saw one earlier

There, now more than a pair, several

Feels right to them, too, they are 

Reclaiming what was just recently so

Covered in thick cold wet snow

All melted now and still really damp!

With a cutting knife she cuts back the winter’s coat over

The earth that was and still is very much asleep.

It is probably much too early,my et we cannot

Resist the temptation to cut away that 

Which covers those welcome green shoots

To shoot right up as the Jonquills have

Next to the Dogwood tree to my right

They are so filled with promise and

Such intense white and yellows defining

They’re gorgeous colors! Amazing so

Life is so rich! 

Am feeling it calling us all now!

This is a time to listen and watch and see all!

As much as our eyes can humanly, at our

Very best see, appreciate honor, respect, 

Cultivate and encourage to blossom and grow

Like us we all hope, together, happy, free wheee!

 

Walking at 68 degrees outside earlier today felt just grand, the snow melted almost completely, and yet our dog found a small patch to pee on and leave his mark!

 

Order reestablished in our neighborhood, an ever-

Changing order to fit the moment to add to our

Moods , met our neighbors and their dog , asked

The temperature and he, gazing down at his watch

Said 68 , earlier he had mentioned he was hot

In his shirt already, that it should not be this

Hot at this time of the year, he is rifght, too!

Jonquils might get the wrong memo and start popping

Up to what is definitely only now temporary,

And sure to change on the gust of a breeze or

The drop of a dine, so, to all of us now

Saturate and bathe our senses in the glory of

Both this beautiful breeze and 70 degrees now,

Put out the cushions now, make a fire perhaps

Later in the fire pit and then change course

As a rain is gonna fall tomorrow, maybe

All day and into the late night and dark as

We sleep and make dreams vivid to remember

In morning and perhaps them turn to reality!

Calm is here for the moment, so thankful for this are we!