I will not let ywil to act, make y own decisions, function independently, freely, firmly, focused and soundly be stripped, robbed, cheated, deceitfully taken from me!

 

The people, at least some, have voted

They have been filled with fear, anger,

And their gender has been courted as

Men and been lied to, and robbed, rated

Mentally brutally forcefully by men to

Further their own inferiorities, insecurities.

Nothing new, going back centuries, the 

Fear of a woman, the shoving of their 

Possible wrath by other men rammed ito

Their psyches and frail brains that act so

Primitively, basically, playing on their

Laziness, their fears so many of rejection 

And being denied their fake worlds so

Wrong of male superiority, a man and his

Party has scared and now scarred so many 

Into a deluded servitude with so many yes

Blatant lies that what lies ahead will not 

Any of them, will certainly not serve them

Well but rather turn them further into slaves

Themselves with little real benefits except

For those that now control them, their minds,

Their will to act in any way independently.

We all will feel from these effects and be yes

Strengthened in the process with meters and

Boundaries within two years then four and

The question is how will we adapt, react,

Channel our purpose , our energy, our fear

And being mad into positive results not just

For ourselves but for ‘ we the people ‘!?

Scaefycat, scaredy dog, scaredy man, fear this, fear that, fearful, running with fear, fierles, frantic YET purpose found in living in each moment, meaning found in doing serendipitously , consistently catching the wigs of energy and inspiration and reacting enthusiastically , emphatically, consistently , always, in Al way, ALL IN!

 

It has been what it has been

And I am proud of that yes

Fading my own way a path

A web a manner a means to

Which create write draw see

Put out, forth, into a surface 

That within me reacting sooo

To my immediate environment 

Knowing instinctively by gut

That which would and was so

Very immediately about to happen

Through my reacting to my settings

Something good, real, alive, true

To leave my, a bit of me, my heart

My soul my pilgrim wanderer here

There somewhere somehow, by my

Own believing means a trail a track

A commitment, contact, so quick so

Fleeting so lasting with such impact

I am proud , it has taken time

And now I must do equally to

Stop my fear, stop being afraid

I must show the outside world

That life all around me that has

Inspired me so and fulfilled me so 

that which I have registered recorded

Reused on paper , in words, on canvas

Cardboard, many surfaces , shiny, dull

Matted, rough, smooth, coarse, crass 

Just that which in ink, paint, watercolor 

Pastel both oil and dry, magic marker,

The world through me, by me, 4 all 2 c!

BOO!it’s soon Halloween, let us Al

Not lose our sense of humor or of

Childish glee and wonder, joy and

Magic and mystery, fable and fantasy!

Life is so focused for me now! It’s raining hard, I a inside taking a break from paint g our basement ceiling wall and organizing my body of art and my life to familiarize myself again, and know where to look as I push onwards a pilgrim soul I am!

 

Life is indeed rich as I center myself

Few distractions distract me on purpose

My mind creates my harsh drama of

Which, I want no part, except extraction

Extracting myself, finding myself anew

In my body in my work in what I piled

Stored, collected, saw promise in so that

I did not toss it, but toss some now I must

To find that order that makes it easier to

Serendipitously send my way through so

Much of my begin-not-done-works-of-art!

And it is all happening as I am the tortoise

I move steady I move slow but I move my butt!

No ands ifs of buts just my naked butt as I please

As I tease my surroundings as well as please me!

I have been given a gift, unexpectedly, of TIME to attend to my & our personal business, to create my art, organize my art and life and accumulated possessions, to react to life now as it stands on the turning point of freedom and democracy, to garden, to focus on those I love and get a better balance, my health, me, oh YES!

 

So I am thrust to bust

To break to ache to

Grow to listen & learn

To come forth from myself

To u earth, rekindle, find,

Relax and be less angry as

I have been angry & fearing

And I need to let most all of

It GO! BEgone withYOU that

Impedes my joy and growth &

Love , childish delight, focused

On my goals and doing what NOW

Must be done, must be accomplished 

By me, I am the one in the driver’s seat!

I am here to deal with the cold & heat!

I am on a crusade to make more red BLUE!

The temperatures inside turned to scalding sooooo my insides my being entier as they say in French, to scalding scolding,holding, helping, harassing me soooo, pesky, perky, pertinent, gut rumblings, escaping my total feeing of being so completely lost and alone!

 

I am set to implode any minute smothered

Spread spanking spurted sparked sinning so

I must be a supreme sinner! I must be a total

Complete lost cause with no cause at all X so

Cept accept NOT be I so bloody sullied in my

Own spit sperm dirt filth sweet sour sweat so

Mired mirrored marked murked mucked mocked

Not understood or loved yet supremely loved

Yet I am so distracted from that which grounds

Me to life to others my wonderful wife that has

Always stood by me not disputing me feeling

Abandoned by me and for that I must atone and

Make  amends  before it is too late I still can it do!

My art with black acrylics and two tiny brushed plumes that smear and smudge and mirror some of my steady guttural churning unease these days to make what’s wrong , what’s i addressed  dressed and right! Tony 8/18/2024 Sunday 6:34pm now listening to Jacques Brel that I love in French! Tombe!

Nag nag nag a nagging a disquieting upsetting uneasy feeling not an easy peaceful feeling, the reverse! So here I go again with full throttle and full purpose yes yes yes yes YES!

 

The nag, the constant unease in anag a pull 

A tug a jerk a nudge a nasty feeling of not

Being or doing or making or sharing or being

Enough so I say Enough is enough! I have had

Enough to last me the rest of my life now I will 

Just focus on finishing what I have started and

Worked on so far all of my life to make me proud!

My work this morning Saturday morning August 17,2024 black acrylic on paper with brush, line drawings and shading and shadows gesturing suggesting life in black and grays and more! Enjoy! Tony 8/17/2024 Saturday morning now late

Promoting art is a full-time emersion experience life-long job , or so it appears!

 

When did it become more than making art?!

When did the artist have to sell himself or her-

Self, he/him she/her LGBT or binary or the persons 

or persons making the art, or the art selling itself?!

What is the market? What is the human landscape of peops 

buying or not buying art!?!? Should an artist devote 

Time to this at all!? I am reading a book about it now

Written in 1978 by an artist by the name of Carole katchen

And it is blowing my fragile-strong-questioning-artFULL

Being so with so much involved to have a successful

Art career and make your money off your art, enough

To live on and not have another job, and this is all WAY

Before the internet and all forms of social  media!

I have waited till now at age 70 simply focusing on

Making whatever art I could ALL on my own terms

And am pleased worried sure yet not, confident and

Full of doubts, questions,  uncertainties, more! Yes

I am a mess but I have a body of work to fall back

Onto as I have fifty years of works to show if I

Choose. That gives me a life’s reactions  and re-

Cordings through all my senses filtered but not fined 

or especially defined, open for individual interprets

As it is all so truly subjective and personal, or, at

Least should be and not with the only driving factor

To be money! Have your own opinion, dare to! I

Dare you to do so, to fly free in the wind and get

Back your own individual power and strength of u!

Above is one of my word-writings I have done in the 

last few days, in sketch book with acrylic paint & brush.

My art is for sale, contact me if interested, or interested 

In seeing more. I am working on my next art show, stay 

tuned for so very much more! Sante a tous! To health!

Almost TOO overwhelming! Slow down, speed up, refocus, be kind, be easy on myself, PUSH constantly! Feel drained and sooooooo ELATED stressed, too! Stretched to my limits, not really! just KIDding, the kid in me lives ON!

 I am a mess really a nut a mad house in brain

Emotions libido a train wreck always about to

Explode collide and YET there is life, there is

Pain drain strain and that outdoors lovely rain!

Some of my recent word- writings with black acrylic and  brush above

In all my struggles, real, invented, imagined 

I am a happy soul, an elated lit fart smart tart!

Toast me up before I burn myself up like a 

Strudel without icing that would be too much

Sugar for me WAY! And smile and hopeful I

Am on a tear, tearing and tearing at seams edges

Of my eyes so mushy so romantic so dreamy so

Alive and making my life hard as it can hard be!

I do not do anything easy! It is Ike I am always

So fresh, as if learning each and every time! I 

Make things life 

, existing Extra Super Sizing 

Difficult,

AS AN ARTIST

I do everything to not be commercial! I do not

Want to be commercial! The only commercial I

Want is to be a commercial for not being commercial!

ALL my art I do intimately yet very publicly! I am my

Own model, I am not vain but I am an exhibitionist!

I love being naked, I love showing myself in the

Spirit of being free! I draw and write in books, I

Draw on both sides, I use lots of recyclable things that

Would be discarded by most. I believe in recycling.

I save, I do not waste except on my waist that is round

And jolly a good fellow indeed! I do not court the galleries

I am horrible at promoting my art! I draw people’s portraits

And give many away. And yet I have much art work and

So I must ok to find homes for it as I continue to draw 

And to write! So here it is, I draw in books so I must

Now publish them, I must put myself forth and out there!

The time was then to wait till now to begin

My word-writing of today, Tuesday August 13, 2024, a beautiful day and it says :

Cut the crap!

What a drag it is getting to be

The wait the worry the stress

The stain to do continue gain

Same refrain stain drain and yet

The knowing it must be whether

Anyone knows it but me to keep 

My butt in motion to know my

Notion it must’ve to set me ON

I need to do this that of certain 

BE I do and firm And fraught

Wrought war rant rank run over 

My my doubts my lost self so

Under ooohhhhhh over whelmed

Ddddd dang I am a bloody mess

I confess! You got me! Guilty of

In darkness wrapped trapped feel

Stripped striped strapped and so sick 

all over I am a strawberry turnover 

Soon to be fed soon to be gone so

Instead of ending now I begin as

Only myself me my I all over again

Gain pain strain drain rain refresh!

Working on empty MTY so often I have lost track and still pursue my goal to be as true to myself in my art art I possibly can spontaneous, raw, unedited, brash, vulgar, honest, loose, base, brute, untamed, original as possible to simply be a reflection of me in my art as I am living open and active,nalert and observant as possible, connected in nature in doubt, fear, self- conscious determined , gutting it out OUT from In!

 

I am simply moving and reacting all alone

I have that confidence and struggle with it

All as it is a constant a lot to handle as it

Come all the time. There is not ever much 

Of a break. I choose to react, I choose to be

A part of all that is around d me, all that I

Sense and I with an openness accept it as a

Life force, an honor, a blessing, a trial a trail

That which I must listen to and react to and

Not run away from as it is my lot it is my being

I love my life I am here to e involved to

Be a part to e on the stage to be alive as

Fullas I may and it sure is taxi git sure 

Puts weight and pressure , pierces and

Dices and slices, stabs, hugs, holds, kisses

Me at all given times I live it I love it , I

Know I may do this, I know there is worth.

I feel it is right even though I realize I am

Bucking every train of thought, of process

As I do this alone without any help. Without

Any encouragement, without blessing, with-

Out a hig or a kiss, silence is my audience asI

 do not exactly please, no one knows what to

Say or how to react!? But my mission is not to

Please it is to record to put down that which I

Am reacting to as honestly as I possibly may

Whether others in my lifetime will ever understand 

That is not problem or my concern, I must be me!

I have chosen a method a goal a purpose a manner a fashion a firm resolve to do my art unhindered and observed by others in the sincere goal to be as original, raw and fresh, frantic and brave spontaneous and inspired, hope original and not stupid,

 

It is a style a belief a trusting so of gut

Born and forced first was my gut and

So I will put my spiritual being into the

Avenue and acting reacting and recording

Of first instantaneous impressions imps &

Professors and students and teachers as I am

Alone in this as it gains no accolades, makes 

No money, but those were never my aims as

I want to try and forge my own path and

Not follow the crowd as the younger with

Age I get the sharper my eyes and senses

And observations to serve no one in my

Earnest pursuits but myself! Who is anyone

To judge another, their worth their word their

Style they’re being there living their ways!? Not

Me, I will go this manner of thinking, working,

Believing, trusting and follow it through without

Having any way of knowing where it will lead me

And what I may produce with words colors images

Associations, questions , songs, theater, opera,

I am to be swept up by that energy all around me, let

It have its way and ways with me as I am sure there

Are many, so waiting to experience ad to respond and

React, I have no exact way of knowing, not caring 

Except wanting to be safe and alive to get up the next day

Pushing all my buttons, all my boundaries, being yes

Brave fearless, not caring what others may say, write 

Or do in response as they are not my masters, they are

Not my judges, they may gossip as gossip they will

That is often the way, so I weigh in on all of this believing

In myself my abilities my worth my salvation my being

I am open to it all, I am here, lucky so with true life,love!

We are so weak in so many ways, best not to be put in temptation’s way too often as, besides ourselves,mothers steer as that way for their profits and gain and our loss!

 

I find direction in my art and am glad

Thinking of deleting so much social

Media emptiness we all share like the

Piano man and Joel and Billy and so

Many of us that are swept and dumped 

Away to so fritter and flounder and lose

Ourselves our identities our wills our way

Ways to be so betrayed so swayed so yes

Weighed found so very wanting and able 

Them by to spoon feed so many of us so 

That even though not in sec they may still

With us have their greedy selfish ways &

For me that will not stand, I will find and 

Stay my way and make my way on my own

In strength courage bravery pig-headedness 

And at least knowing it was by my doing and 

Not by others that care not an ounce xcept

When suits them and by us they money make!

Oh they are so fucking bloody bastard fake!

A privilege , an honor, a duty a burden an pain a pleasure!

 

Working harder than ever that I recall

Feel more stressed ad anxious as my

Body tells me so as I feel physical and

Mental crushing into, onto, upon, inside

Of me, new sensations , painful & dis-

quieting strange odd scary unpleasant 

question marks so marking and dogging

Me as I plod along forcing myself to 

Persist, at IT keep so as to not fall back

As I have the past of my life’s accomplish-

Mends meant to be brought to light, and,

Who better than I to do so, working at odd

Off and even and on hours minutes, seconds,

It wanting to lose my inspirations, my gut

Reactions here with my word-writings I 

Press on to get to the root, the bottom, yo

Mix the sur lie tge grape bunches of me my

Myself I inspirations as you see and bread I

Hope one that I have done recently and

Share here with you all below done in

August with black acrylic and brush on

Paper that I have @Fuxisketchbook 9

By 12 inches, 100 sheets of virgin white 

surface to write or draw on as I please!

No comfort, no ease, just pushing myself 

And my limits to create something that

Has simply grown from living and reacting!

A  privilege, an honor , a pledge, a burden 

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Trying hard, YES! This is my vision through my art, my authentic actual , all mine, my true to my art,t he rawness, the real, the NOT commercial asE t, just the reaction I have, the compulsion, the impetus, the direction, the tug and the pull, the pain and effort and exercise and awareness to everything it embodies as i use whatever is at my disposal, and I like to recycle ad preserve that which is around me so it does not have to be thrown away, to utilize that which has been in my life, not that which I have to buy to make my art. To be true and not be thinking about making money as I create.

 My word writing below, two of them in my sketch book pad! August 2024

Life is hard and I face it constantly as we all do.

I want to be exclusively expressive of my own self.

I do not want to be repetitive, I do not want to copy.

I want to add myself and not someone else or others.

I do not want to have to sell myself or my art artificially.

I want to be found by those that are willing to explore

With me and to have them learn and gain in ding so.

I am not an expert, I am not vain and believe that you

All need my art. I do not want to sell myself under any

False pretenses, I do not believe in that, yes, I do want

To be

Discovered

But, for 

All the right reasons 

And by that

I mean

Not for glory or money or recognition

Not for vanity or selfishness or self congratulations.

I simply want at some point for

The world to get an inkling

A small, or great

Appreciation and joy 

And sorrow

Equal amounts

Of pain

In looking reading seeing

What both I and my art may offer.

Not for the money, not for fakery

Not for the commercial aspects 

Simply for

The authenticity 

The rawness the bravery

The simple, the stark,

The meow and the bark,

The murmur the purr

The still the calm

The alarm the mad

The glad the glade

The water the fire

The blade the stone

The flesh and 

The bone 

The red of the blood

The rant the rub

The welcome

Not the snub

The table and meal

Food and wine

Conversation

And love

The safety 

The equality

The hug and the tub!

Whether lean or chub

Preferred naked and

Bare and beautiful 

Handsome too

The proud the 

Real presence and respect

The humble the honest

The truth in our pain

The erasing yes

To a large extent

Of the stain the drain

The atrocities to others

The crimes often unnamed

Or blamed, under the rug

Those abused left with shame

Let’s give light to yes

Those attacks on our characters

This willing us to blame to

Call out for no reason but

For their selfish personal gain.

We must change our ways now

Do in our actions our arts

That which will both heal and

Deal to those a quick swift heel!

Till we smile and in joy squeal!

 

Been a great two weeks’ off , one at the Outer Banks beaching it, rating it, and three nights in Brooklyn , NewYork Williamsburg, and the rest hereChez Quinn’s innorthern Virginia, and today,nWednesday I go back to work, summerParis Olympics, too, Kamala Harris Democratic Presidential nominee 2024, 3 months to go,mTim here running mate!

 

All good, loving it, lots of quality family time,s Wimbledon yesterday afternoon at Abigail’s pool that was so refreshing

 focus is the name

My game, turn inwards, forget the world of people

Except do react, but choose your moments,

I choose mine,

I am pulled by myself in too many directions,

Have to simplify!

Writing, drawing, observing, listening,

Gulping,

Slurping

Eye-IN-g,

Smelling,

Stopping

Smelling, careful and calm,

Patient and

Focused

Anxious,

Trying not to be frantic

That nagging sensation,

Must control it,

Lose it, cast it off,

Turn it off,

Throw away all 

Social media noise,

All outside noise,

That people noise,

Just hear the crickets

Just notice the cicada music,

These songs outdoors!

I feel stuck,

Have to unstuck,

Stick my landings,

No splash going in, 

Know I work silently,

Understand others do not

Me understand at all,

And

This should be of no concern to me,

I should not care what if at all

They even think of me,

As,

I have to finish

That which I begun,

Have done,

In out about yes

So many small steps,

Working for short spurts

Only a few minutes in 

A bit

A lot

Of haste

Not wanting to lose

To waste to 

My way my self

Me my I

On earth

In the sky

Under water

I loved my plunge

In the blue chlorine water

Of Ah ah’s pool

Yesterday afternoon

Refreshing

Refreshed

Even-tempered

Put thoughts in their

Rightful places

Turn them off

Stop them

What is most

Important

What will

Make me

Happy

Now 

What do I

Focus on 

To create 

To exist

 to matter

To have relevance 

To find it if

Possible

A degree

Of satisfaction 

We’re men born

To be

Happy

To work

To produce

Glad to have

My life

To be

Feel

Soooooo

Very

Alive

Blessed 

Am I

To realize

To understand 

Ton appreciate 

To welcome 

To embrace

To include

Talk to

Be open

Be available to

New exciting scary

Unknown

Untried

Experiences

To not live

To others judge

I am free

I am happy

I am positive

I am me

I want to

Simply so hard this

Just to be me

To live my life

Fully

On edge

At the edge

On empty

On full

On my own terms

My parents let me

Do this

By myself

Make many of

My own mistakes

Not to be spoon fed

By them

They left me alone

They loved me

They did not

Force me

In any way

At all

It was all

Up to me

For that

I am

Eternally

Grateful 

To them

The greatest 

Gift

A parent 

Can give

Their child

Is to set them

Free

And free 

I have been

Privileged 

Without knowing it

Ashamed that

I have

Been so innocent

So unaware

So in a bubble

The balance

In life

The inequality

The privilege

Hoarded stolen

From others

Unfair

Advantages 

Criminal’s really 

The greed tge selfishness 

The power gluttons 

The money pimps

The old white male

Atrocities 

Perpetuated

Not punished

As they should 

Have been

But

Given a free pass

Ignored

Turned out

Excused, looked away

Forgiven

Forgotten

Made excuses for,

Unconscionable 

Cruel man-made

Realities

To suit them to excuse

Them

To pardon them

When no pardon

Should have ever

Been a consideration

Make ur world 

Great again?

America

Great again?

MAGA

Our world

America 

Has never

Been 

Great

We have

Too

Many

Sins

To 

Atone

For

To many

Monsters

Boogee Men

In our

Closets 

Homes

Work places

To fix

To shine light on

To discipline 

To call out

To discuss 

To hold accountable 

For!

We are not

Great

We are

Human

We are

Weak

We are bullies

We are 

Bastards

Pimps

Thugs

Criminals

Rapists

Murderers

Unforgivable 

Fuckers

Fucked up

Having sooo

Fucked UP

Our world

For

Our

Undeserved

Unwarranted

We need now

More

Compassion

Empathy

Love

Understanding

Welcoming

Listening

Working

Together

For 

Equality 

For all

Fr our

Collective

Greater good

Wealth

Health

Safety

Satisfactions

No one

Should

Have to live

In such fear!

We all deserve 

So much

Better

Than that

Cheers to the

Good 

In us

Buried away

For so long

Time to dig

It up

Plant it

Afresh

Water it

Nurture it

Watch it

Grow 

As we, too

Grow 

With it!

Going back and forth between tasks of labor of industry of love of duty-self-imposed,mif bravery,mif fear,mif desperation, salvation, mischief,mchildishnglee,Marwari and untamed animal mature male desires, sexual utbursts and cravings, and vanity and self-importance, need for love and acceptance and peace and happiness and no loud ugly noises crashing down, in, upon our delicate souls palpitating spirits of individuality!

Ouch! I have just written a book!

Hearing about Komodo dragons!

Pretty gross my daughter announces!

I I will  avoid contact with them, and I

Feel safe as I have no plans to go to

Indonesia!people who live there have

Their houses on stilts our daughter 

Announces to us! And, to think, earlier

I was down at the beach ready for a swim 

And a short but delightful one it was, I

Loved it! I was carried down by the current

As I was yesterday, and, as I did not want

To be attacked by a shark, and as it was not

Easy to get back to shore, inseam to it in the

Free style stroke, I cut my ocean water time 

Short once again preferring to be safe and

Be able to return home for coffee and time to

Paint on my virgin white stretched primed 

Canvases as I still had eight to attack and try

And figure out what inspiration to have 

Flow from me to these white surfaces 

With my black acrylic paint in fluid

Lines I was musing as I was feeling rather 

Content in a fluid line kind of way with a

Smile beginning to form on my face and a

Sense of peace from where it was coming

I did not know, but I was happy with it and

Not in the least wanting to question it further!

Compelled to keep expressing that which is knocking around inside of me, more turbulent now than most times!

 

At the beach at the dunes so surrounded 

By sea oats those sentries behind me yes

Those blowing in the wind and breeze &

Protecting us from intruders and from disease 

I love them so as I love frogs and toads so

Special to me, one of the reasons I come to

The beach annually almost religiously, very

Spiritually! It is all a part of my religion,

What keeps and gives me grounding & calm,

I love this all so as I set my sights so high to

Accomplish tasks unfinished and those not begun.

I get up early, hear at 9 am on Monday morn

I was stripped naked here at the edge of the 

Dune, my ass caked in sand just warming up.

A lady passed y to my right on the path and 

She did not see me, she must have had blinders

On, in a raincoat as there had been a gentle rain

Just moments prior. I walked in that and felt the

Coolness then and now on my naked skin, so 

Very special, many rain drop kisses all over my

Receptive skin! It was a slice of paradise with 

Hera d another man walking along the line where 

Water met sand. So alone except for two surfers

A bit away bobbing in the ocean’s undulating 

Waves, ready to ride one should the chance occur.

Fleeting moments to catch a wave and a deserted

Shoreline for me only to strip down and rush into

The water buck naked and skinny dip and I, tossing

Caution to the wind, shrugged, thought what the

Hell, dropped my trousers and off to the ocean I

Rushed happy as kuldip be, slipped into the waves

And splashed like a contented hold up and down

And let my nakedness brushed into the sand below 

and felt it touch my privates and it felt so good, I

So loved this sensation and went back for more!

Loving it all,wow,what galore to be touched so

Soft by the ocean’s floor with not a human soul

Around to rob me of this private moment with

Sand and sea, ocean and sea water and sun and

Breeze and suds and seagulls there on the shore

The only living things observing my antics except

Perhaps a sandpiper or two before I decided I 

Better not press my luck and rushed from the

Waves to don my trousers and be off to walk the

Dune’s edges and see witness to the prints in

The sands of human feet, seagull tracks and those

Of dogs, too, and the few holes here and there of

Those spry quick to scamper and be gone sand crabs!

I am hitting and living now 90 percent of my happy space as I bounce back and forth from one project,endeavor to the next!

 

What hilarious farcical clumsical hoot 

Of an existence now be it all mine to

Own it as no one else will have any of

It at all as it makes no sense worldly or

Practical or logical to them with me a

King lovable  crazy quirky weird un-so-

Not-phathom-able-to-understand-in-the-

Known -what the fuck are you all abour

Tony you make no sense in the least to us

We love you support you from afar but with

Your nudity explicitness bordering on lewdness

Too much exposure, makes us all so uncomfortable 

You X pose post too much of your nakedness your

Nipples, do we have to see your nipples ever again!?

Your positiveness makes us uncomfortable, too as 

We are no way as comfortable with ourselves our

Nakedness  our exposed bodies as yu are! Do not

Make us have to be reminded how imperfect we all

Are not models not fit to be on a gazing covers too

Much of everything that advertisers imply is so very

Wrong with us, and are’t we lucky for them here to

Take our money and help us feel so much better about

Our imperfect unfortunate unlivable wrong awful selves!?!?

A pox on them  - you are all beautiful in my own eyes!

The juices are flowing! I am in somewhat self-charted-totally-really-uncharted-territories! I do this to myself, aargh!

 

So this is it as it stands or mot now

I let myself go, I let the motions so

Wash over and around and upon me!

I have that confidence, that belief, I

Question all the time overthink think

Back think bad, think mad, feel stupid

Inept foolish weak vain useless failing

Falling lost vulgar dirty teams , raw and

Used abused misunderstood a washout,

Past my prime, passed over, it’s over, un-

Sure sad sunk in my own futile few little

Spunk spunks punks pranks skanks skunks!

I push on, I keep going, I am sometimes so

Slowing, other times all aflame!mi only have

Only myself really it has always been me on

Only me me I mine myself my all alone 2 blame

For why I am so lame and so afraid to so fail!

Nakedly as naked as I may for me and you I have

Copied on all of this as to have you along for

My ride if you so choose to be caboose on me!

Hard to see hard to say to sort out my feels and

Yet that is what is left for me as I will at this so

Work until I fall to sleep for one long glory nap!

I’m running on empty! I work on empty! I pretty much do everything on empty MT MTee MTee MmmmmmmmTttttttt!

 

So be it! So goes it! So I d!

S I produce! So I reduce so I

Cipher decipher get something 

Out! I have a headache and I

Need a nap and yet here I type

I want to use my time now yes

Before I crash! For rash gnash my

Teeth grind grip grunt glee glad

How so I will go until I stop as I

Am sooooo very driven by forces

By external internal infernal eternal

Yes , so it seems, reams and reams

Creams and cremes and crepes and 

Krypton and crepes and cringes crows

And crawdads and crunchy bites bits

I am on an empty roll that I force myself 

To create what I dank in what I ate eat in!

I am a monster of my own making to be

Heard seen listened to, responded to in

Some fashion or another whether it be

Uncomfortable or not I will make mark

Bark stark lark arc snark spark Wendy Clark!

I am on a roll to find out all my pieces that fell or were scattered about like Humpty Dumpty as it is time to put them all back together again!

 

Honest to a fault eXept the lies I 

Have always carried around and

On some level pardoned where I

Should have not! Scared of my

Own thoughts that have done me

More harm than good and I am so

Now facing them front on , looking

Them right i their eyes and ears and

Bodies as they have been disguised

And gotten away with murder right

Under my own eyes! What a farce!

I have dearly paid big for all of

This and what a price it has been!

Truth be told I am as much a scardy 

Cat as I ana roaring lion! Weak in

Ways, strong in other paths & that

Has to stop! I have managed to do

The work, now I have to face brass

Tacks and with hammer and chisel 

D that which must e done to move

Forward with all that I have done

Begat begun be made written drawn

Collages painted splattered layered

Colored with water those bright so

Cadmium acrylics and oil & regular

Pastels and watercolors that have by

Me found a place a space a home to

Be heard seen discovered un-and-so-

Very BOTH recovered repurposed, too!

Making room in my world or recycled!

My mission to save myself is harder than it would seem as most addictions go!

 We are all addicted, all of us, X-ploited 

To the MAX by selfish individuals that

Use us abuse us, prey UPon our basic

Weaknesses all week all day all the time!

And we have the same traits and these are

Targeted at a very young age by others to

Make money and control - off of us - us!

Merciless, cruel, mean, no spirit at all they

Those few would steal our spirits and souls!

They are meaner than any other living thing

Alive, they on US upon along US do thrive

Only because of us are they so successful!

All the bull, all the hype, all the distortions

Untruths fibs white lies LIES they concoct!

They are the real scum of the earth worse 

Than any dirt grime slime or  natural substance!

And I must conquer this dependence, must so

Isolate it, relegate it to small chunks of my time

I have so much to yet finish accomplish and less

Time that once I had , having been so blessed so

Fortunate, so allowed to live and to reap so much

Of nature’s bounty and pleasures and rhymes!

Now I must buckle down my efforts and resist

My impulses to unbuckle my belt and play with

Myself and spend so weakly weekly my energies

That would much better be served on my art me my

I! Fly on and of my own volition to Venus and Mars

Hang from the ceiling the vines in the trees & stars

So high up above to fall back onto clouds & slumber

Before I rise to star my art and start smiling ooohhhhh

Over and over and still bounce ooohhh over again!

If not for the internet I would not have had to me so readily revealed so many of my male manly weaknesses to catch me up so constantly more than I would have ever wanted without!

 

I will not whine I will not pout I

Will will myself to be more than 

Swine more than steer wanting so

More steer and less bovine I am a

Cumplete mess where before I  was

A complete jerk as in by myself so

Perpetually jerked around thinking

Dreaming fan-ta-tas-sizing-prizing

More more and more mine fine bovine!

To feel the need to unleash to settle my

Deposit and move forth onto the next

Task to accomplish not acumplish and

See so often another cock another dick

Another Rick another male rooster to so

Booster my hiney to IT UP raise to better

So mount position that piston that third 

Keg of the race to unleash so many mad sea 

Men Randy wild raw ravi g raunchy raucous

Ready to penetrate to seed to sate to me mate!

Not even really a date, just wham BAM thank-

Me-not-MAN as simply receptacle just a hole

A warm male harbor to speed dispel dispose of

So many sperm men boys males mischief hell-

Bent lives just vying for position for power for

Life no matter what the mate what the male so

Living simply for one task that to us empale &

Immediately without a care or stare back sail!

Go on, forward the male, keep all our mail!

We are only interested in breeding the next tail!

Same old, yes, we have all heard if forever- tale!

The song of male repetition to get offa d find that essential constant spermal release!

I am missioned , self- commissioned self-employed

Joyed toyed oooohhhhhhh- boy’ed so purposed in-as

PurposeFULL so re-purposed so re-centered entered

Mentored men-to-wards-in-frank-nakedness without

Clothes the at-me-so-strong-NOT-wrong-my-internet

sONG I am so aware of their wares mail mailed nail

Male nudes and their flesh wares get more than just

My stares asi reach down and take hold spit on my

Hand repeatedly I stroke and stroke and row my long

Boat swiftly sometimes slowly and I linger and I long

I moan ad sigh and feel my pulse down there my leg

A third that refuses to stay grown yet it pulses it does

Deliver it does produce me so reduce to not more much

That a aged mature  man pounding his stick wanting 

Just to me nailed maled empaled seeded the term most

Used be breaded meaded honey’ed do this one thing

For me spread them wide as you are mine my ride I

In all my pride am here to be used to be filled to oohh

Over-spilled splashed spunked hunk’ed honked bonked!

And that’s all that I want just to be serviced to be laid !

Flattened played displayed made a male receptacle for

Thine gunk thine sunk your sperm your seed so in-me-

Your insistence persistence to cum spend unload in me!

Sooooooooo as the story goes, do it once, repeat! Be so

Taken by the seat of your  pants so quickly pushed down!

No romance no foreplay just play along be a good boy!

I am trusting in my experience of living to not know as I go what I am doing as if the journey and path or purpose will become a reality simply in the doing not actually planning except to do some art and save it and myself in the process

  I love this as much as I hate this

This not knowing yet firm believing

In the eventuality that along my way

I will have done something I can live 

With of my own maki g but not pre con-

Ceived or envisioned but simply done

And worked and moved with my hands

My body, my spirit my beliefs and trust

Sometimes naked with only a brush yes

Sometimes with music and y singing and

Humming and finger-printing, peeing sooo

Pushing myself working on empty and so

Feeling drained and tired and yet in that do

Doing I do find bits and sparks, spurts and

Dashes splashed, thrusts, gut busts f some

Reserves some ignites bites bits spits spats

Rat-a-tats tits tips tops tinsel and tosses to

Rattle my brains ad body and my cage, too,

To bust through and forth and out and about

To accomplish seemingly so something outta

Air with lots it seems as I go on to spin spare!

I face my demons, at them I take a stance stare!

Here pictured with my oil pastels I will use now!

Happy Sunday July 21 2024 at the beach on vacation!

Yay yay hey hey hey hey YAY I am somehow willing

Myself to play, to strip to strap to sap to sape stay!

My presence on the Book of Face is getting limited by both merespondi g to the old white men self-important-privileged-cocky-making-decisions-4-ALL-what-GAUL!

 I need to get into my art to me sooooo SAVE!

To off STAVE WAVE before I hit the GRAVE

To still NOW more than ever PAVE or not as

Wild-Is-INFANTly-  Better- Best-Bestest-Braver 

Than ALL the rest opt-Ions available to me us

Get off that Spoon-Fed-Up-Bus or get busted

No need to be still and soon rusted, get mad and

Of this all do something to rejuvenile rejuvenate 

Us We I You Them All of us all soon combust

Bust burst blast blister blunder blame blur blemish

We cannot afford to into obscurity shoved be by

Those billion billionaires that have no business 2 B

So rich off the strong sturdy human humble backs of

So very many of us stuck in toil in boil in there but

As butts for others last spoiled serpent snake soulless 

Tyra t turdful tarnished old selfish male animals that

I have lost all respect for and will not even call human!

I rant rave I am both heard and calling them out as rats

Without the need or the purpose even to take and take more!

So I in my art my writings my images will them call out!

I am working constant so consist so persistent so doggedly frog toad ed ly on emmmm puh puh ly empty emptee MmmmmmmT MmmmmmmTee MTea Cough Coff CoffTiedTeasedTestedTrueTttttttttttt!

 

What am I seeing so much more 

Now I so very sure pow pow plough

Plunge lunge sponge spoon spin spur

On all senses as best I may me alert 

I am fractured fried free’ed fr ought 

I in spurts been butt self kicked so to

Ack yack yuck so do so for forth firm

With con pro prime pre vic vac suc so

Shun shuuun no sanc outta sunk some

Gunk gank genk honk gink gunksheeun!

Play with words and sounds and allow

For child so I like most children that have

That playful that outhouse that curious a

Unlearned-as-yet-not-taught-to-be-like-rest 

SO they do not poke or stick out or draw at

Them other’s hurtful harmfull attention to so

Bring them down to scorn to scrap trap traipse 

Them to on their feet be trodden traded tried

Treasoned without jury of their peers like so

Many steers stirred strapped trapped trounced!

I am a free spirit, I love all until I am so burned

By them in all my positivity that so kills them 

And enrages them and makes them think - why

Am I so happy and  they NOT!?!? Why oh why?

Am I soooooo very over the rainbow that they do

Not see or feel or enjoy or enrich by as me my I!?

SO I work still in short burst for a few previous

Minutes here and there on myself on my art for my

Part to be and feel and free be me myself me I and

Yes share till burned so to the ground like forest fires

I soon spring eternal as I am able on my own back back!

Stay yes as I may on my own track, alone for the most

Part and yet still enriched and joyful and knowing my worth!

From the dirt and stone water and weather outdoors I spurt!

Perspective, distance, patience, vision, trust, faith, unsure of, going for it, trusting in your gut, not overthinking, moving along even slowly but moving! Here with my art my stretched canvas I started in 1987 that has been quite my intense adventure in 2024 picking up where I left off! aaaarrrrggghhhhhhhhAaaaHhhhh!

 

I have an extra day off now, three in a row and I am a new man at 70 years of age!

I started this stretched canvas way back in 1987 and am continuing it today! It has been a difficult journey with many highs and more lows!

I used white toilet paper here to clean up my own self made swam all dirty, mired, muddy, yucky!

As I used the white toilet paper to mop up my watery muddy blurred muted ugliness I thought of the reference to cleaning up the political swamp in Washington DC.

If my mess is this messy the one in Washington DC is unimaginable. What has Congress and theWhite G

House allowed to happen?!

I use my mess as a message to both Congress and the White House to work more closely together to clean up our National swamp mess! Use and do whatever it takes! You can do it, we can do it , we must! No ifs ands or buts just butts applying some strength to get this horrendous mess cleaned up and properly functional once again!

I have enjoyed earning from my mess here.

I take many valuable lessons away from here from the mess that I have created, and what a murky muddy ugly bruised bloody buggered mess it is!

I see hope even here, there are glimpses and splash sand splotches and white finger prints all around in these oil pastels, pastels, watercolors and acrylics I have employed, deployed, enjoyed, annoyed , ooohhhhh boyed!

So what to do!? What to continue or leave well enough alone!?!

I will let it be for the time and return refreshed soon enough!

Cheers! Anthony TONY Quinn 

Happy Wednesday ,July 10, 2024 to one and to all of us!

I am having trouble adding pictures of my eleven canvases I painted on stretched canvases with acrylics and leaves, flowers, sticks, branches, seeds, nuts, more

 

What a great grand grin groan glorious trip this still is! Tony 7/9/2024

What a conundrum, to leave well enough alone from years ago or to continue working on them!? I will take my time as I am working on other pieces on stretched canvases! One has given me so many pains - the one I started in 1987 and did not finish, I do not know why? My wife says it is because we had just had our daughter and we’re busy raising her. I think that sounds about right.

So we have two weeks before heading to the beach to the Outer Banks for a week where I will take some new virgin stretched canvases to work on - three different sizes, and I will do some more self portraits that I start with colored acrylics and move forward!

I have now three days off in a row - Sunday, Monday and Tuesday - and that extra day Tuesday has given me a new lease on life and I am ecstatic about this because it gives me more time ‘ to be ‘, to see, to think, to realize, to feel, to soar my spirit, air my soul, pamper and listen to my gut! I am following my gut and thrilled, too about that.

I am flying solo, no one comes to look on my progress, no one asks, no one takes any time about my art, I am all alone on this! That is okay as I listen to TheStone’s new song with Lady Gaga and Stevie Wonder, I sweet sounds of heaven, I am hearing that piano, and Lady Gaga, falling down, oh yeah, oh yeah, come on, come on, that shrill sound of hers like on Hey Jude, the same kind of-crescendo, Her and Mick, the drums, and Stevie on piano, wow, woweeee! And now Mick on harmonica, loving that, too!

Life is sweaty and sweet as I come in from gardening on a sweltering day and going off to see a movie with my wife! Love you all, Tony Tuesday, July 9, 2024 at 1:46pm now….

Just like me starting fresh, The Stones should make their next record as they were just getting started with these last two songs! Tony

My mixed media on stretched canvas in progress drying blacks now! Started in 987 and left alone and picked up in late June 2024! Yay!

 

Mixed media in progress still on Sunday July 7, 2024 at 9:54am yay yay YAY! Hurray, hurrah, getting on with it ! Anthony TONY Quinn