I return to myself often, at least once a day, once a night : the day being often more at ease and perhaps more quick and spontaneous and fleeting, the night more intense, saturated, permeated, infiltrated, infused.

Returning to myself often, reestablishing my inner knowing a d home. The sense of rapture, the immediate need to connect at day, to be Present to, a present for, a thank you, commitment, a gift of self. The evening, the night, undress, the clothes fall off, the weight, too! That few seconds where I breathe in my inner life and feed it warmth. Its so quick so freeing so finding my confort my safety my sense of me. It's a gift I acknowledge giving, prkviding, knowing much of its meaning. I greatly appreciate this act. simple, I find myself as my clothes fall off! Nothing out of the ordinary though my appreciation and transformation is so EXTRAordinary, yet so ordinary, so pure a d peaceful if you lloq it to be Without the guilt, nobworry, no apology, no looking back, not torn by it. I delight, I relish, I embellish, trellis, tree, climb, lose all concept Except to embrace my complete and utter love of my nakedness undress bless! Early this morning I showed off this state this place of self, love, wRmth. My oasis, hr or, open stage , available to be seen by any passing by outside.

The primal raw real me at and just after birth surfaces, demands my attention, grips my complete nakedness before dress, before being addressed or spoon fed to, now, I must be both present and consume myself with that essence that I was born as, with, and recognize that spirit and soul within me yes!

I feel so right , so all me, so called to address that which has always , and in all ways been me before society started to mold and carve, starve, repress, rearrange, put fear and dread and strip me of my true born naked proud self and identity! I now at 6:09 am rise to photograph myself in my floor to ceiling sliding door dining room onto porch reflection inside and in darkness outside to remember, focus, reflect, refurbish, resurrect,mdefine, deliver and appreciate the truthfulness in all my glory and gladness, madness, mystery, quotidian ayantity before any dressing or manipulation or transforning to hide, bury, quarter, quantify, present to the world a manicured manipulated, fanciful, framed, faux version of me! 6:15-6:20am truths - unvarnished or edited or redacted ! It's 43 degrees outside as I step out! Tony

I worked at night in Dewey by the moon and star light reflected off the sand outside our room with floor to ceiling windows and could see outside but not see the colors I picked up to use of my oil pastels trusting in the moment

my results not seeing my colors I drew with at 2am earlier on April 3rd, 2026 always pay off as I yrust in both moment, energy, and self , as well as method! Tony Friday, April 3,2026

crazy as a full moon loving my connection tonself and place and being! Tony 12:05pm now as I post this.

I have a plan, a method, loose, spontaneous, imperfect, flawed, as-is, no real editing but that done by me ‘ on the fly, on my fly or fall or both’!

what a glorious spontaneous gut wrench beach Dewey sprawl crawl crest careen cajole cavort across cross criss caffaw soooo here in mostly oil pastels with our ' room with a view ' spread two large floor to ceiling view of the turbulent torn tested tried tortured tripped up, winds sweepin constant, smeared fingertips in oil pastels yes so calling me to draw upon all my energies here now non-stop till now 4pm Thursday April 2nd, 2026 .